Here are three stories, three paths, three experiences of prayer. They are as unique as the individuals who tell them, and proof perhaps, that prayer if it is to nourish and sustain cannot be ‘imposed’. Rather, prayer has to be desired, yearned for and then, experienced. It is both a gift, and a lifelong adventure. It is also a commitment requiring humility, perseverance and time – like any loving relationship. At its core is desire, the desire to communicate with, and love the one who is love. Prayer is gratitude, it is an automatic response to love. It has nothing to do with slavish imitation, or sheep like fellowship that is grey and lifeless. Prayer, as love, is neither grey nor lifeless. These stories of prayer brim with colour, adventure and with life.

Una (Mid thirties), University Lecturer

‘God bless us in our work and play, and bring us safely through the day’ – this prayer recited together with my mother at the door, with water from the holy water font is my first real memory of prayer. Now I can say that symbolised for me a kind of a threshold, a passing from the inner to the outside world.  Work and play became the prayer, God in the everyday I understood naturally.

In the evenings we’d pray around the fireplace or candle and always in front of a picture of the Sacred Heart. There was tea and biscuits and then prayer. We’d say the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be. They came to mean less to me as I grew into adolescence. And I remember how my Mother would always want us to kneel and my Father would vouch for us to be able to sit and pray. My mother was more ‘institutionalised’ in her approach or expression of faith, and when she assumed a ‘prayer voice’ to me, it seemed strange and was out of sync with her otherwise playful and creative spirit. I didn’t like that. I preferred to relate her playful everydayness with prayer. I liked my Father’s style of prayer better, which seemed to me a bit more ‘honest’ or ‘in the moment’. By the time I was 15 yrs of age I’d come to reject formal prayer and institutional Church and I found Mass a burden. Denial of these things for me, was never a denial of God though.

Over the years I’ve come to realise that God deals with us as we are. I love imagination and creativity, and love to travel. So, simple contemplation of Bible stories by imagining myself in them, travelling to exotic places, meeting these real characters, makes the whole Christian story come alive for me. This contemplative, interactive way of prayer was new for me. I got introduced to this style of prayer by beginning the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.

I began to do the Spiritual Exercises in daily life and sincerely lots of things have changed for me and my prayer in the process. I’m relaxed and less anxious in prayer. I don’t over complicate.  I talk simply to Jesus. I say in the course of my day, when something begins to get to me, ‘ok Jesus, time out….’ and I share for a moment the problem or anxiety I am feeling. What I have now, that I didn’t have before, is a calmness to walk through the storm of things that happen in the day to day. I also have Jesus as a personal friend, not a remote Bibical figure.

I work the exercises into my day to day routine and find now that each makes space for the other – or becomes one interactive and continuous flow.  I’ll do a 10 minute sort of Examen of Consciousness in the morning – how am I, what am I feeling, what am I anxious about? I make all that is happening to me part of my prayer. Then I’ll either have an hour of contemplative prayer as part of the Spiritual Exercises immediately afterewards or later that evening, depending on what my work or social schedule is that day.  Sometimes I’ll have coffee or breakfast as part of the exercises if I do them in the morning.  It has happened that I’ll take a glass of wine in hand if I do them in the evening! It’s maybe a measure of how I value prayer now. It’s gone from a chore to a real desire. I have grown so much in personal awareness. I am aware of my dark side, and it’s as if by acknowledging it, it has stopped rebelling. All the guilt stuff is gone. I have a healthy sense of being open to life, I am dependent on God, I am not in control, I can trust. Now I have a voluntary openness to prayer and things, as opposed to a ‘I have to’ attitude. I am more discerning about who I am and what I desire. I am better able to stand in my own space, and to know what is right or not right for me.

It’s a funny thing but prayer for me extends into all things, and has even changed my approach to parties. Previously I would have been closed to engaging with certain people. Now I am more open to the possibility of what may be. I think with amazement about the Nativity story and how the Shepard’s and Magi were brought together under the shelter of the one stable. I’ve contemplated how Jesus dined with all sorts of people – those deemed ‘undesireable’, people from all sorts of backgrounds. So, can I not try to be open as well?

I love that I can tap into Scripture now to help me with day to day stuff. If I have family issues disturbing me, I‘ll dip into a passage that speaks to me about that. I find myself relating characters in Scripture to people I meet in everyday life.  It helps me to get a sense that Jesus is real and is human too.  He understands, he has felt the same things  and I ask how would Jesus relate to this person now? It helps!

So my prayer has really evolved. I do pray some of the formal prayer of the Church, but I have the confidence to pray in my own way also. I believe people need to be given the space to ‘taste’ and find out for themselves. There’s no hypocrisy in my prayer now. I can’t put the essence of prayer into words. Maybe there are no words. God knows me already so, in ways it is beyond words. There is no one way to pray, sit in honesty with the disarray, and somehow you are guided, it’s really that simple.


Liam, (Mid-twenties), Legal Professional

I remember having quite a powerful experience at my First Holy Communion. Apart from that, my most vivid memories are of my two grandmothers, who were driven in their faith. They exuded prayer, and a sense of calm and happiness that I always attributed to prayer. That has always stayed with me.

I remember being half dragged to Padre Pio Masses and the like, but would never have considered myself religious. At secondary school I was interested in God in a factual way but didn’t have a strong faith as such. I took a leap at the age of 17, and went to the World Youth Day event in Toronto, Canada. I was struck by the sense of togetherness and faith in so many young people. It got me thinking more. Later, when I went to university, the Chaplain was inspirational. It particular it struck me how passionate he was, he really prayed the Mass. That stood out because it was so different from what I personally had experienced at my local parish. I began attending daily Mass. At this time in my life I had a very set view of Church I suppose. This wasn’t helped by my getting involved in quite a conservative movement within it. I found it too structured and prescriptive for me, and quickly pulled back from it. I felt judged, and inadequate. The experience shattered me and I didn’t feel able to pray for about 6 weeks afterwards. Through this time and a couple of subsequent difficult events in my life, even when prayer seemed to dry up, I continued going to daily Mass. I persevered, and, it helped in a way that’s difficult to define. I suppose I preferred to persevere, be angry and search for answers, rather than use these occasions as opportunities to run away. These ‘barren’ times in prayer, have tended to end for me through quite dramatic experiences at Mass. A couple of times also, I’ve tried the Rosary when I am struggling with prayer. For reasons I can’t explain, that too it has lead me out of the dryness and back on track.

Another member of the chaplaincy team at university began running prayer evenings once a week. They were a real eye opener for me, because it opened up different styles of prayer to me. It gave me the confidence to find a way that suited me, and to trust in the value of my way. These evenings contrasted sharply to the prescriptive ness and judgement laden approach of my previous experience. I’d made a break through.

I’m out of university now and prayer life I suppose goes in peaks and troughs. There’ve been times when it’s felt like I’ve totally forgotten how to pray. At those times I find some consolation in something a Jesuit priest once told me – he said, ‘pray as you can, not as you can’t’.

I find work stuff spins around in my head and most often distracts me from prayer. There are certain distractions that are good to bring to prayer, but others I think need to be removed. It’s a real challenge! Now, in general I’ll make a simple morning offering and try to take 15 minutes in the middle of the day to sit in silence, or with Scripture. Evening time is my best time where I’ll do a kind of Examen of Consciousness. I try to make time for the odd retreat, and most recently went on a 6 days of silent retreat. That was a challenge initially, but I developed a level of comfort in the silence that was new, and enjoyed extended periods of simple uncluttered prayer.  

What I think I’ve learned over time is that there’s no ‘prayer package’ that can suit everyone. We are individuals in that as in all things. I know I’ll have times of despair in my prayer, but essentially it’s a time when I put myself wholly in the presence of God. I give it all to him. He loves me as I am, and there is great comfort in that.

Miles, (Mid-thirties), Social Services Professional.

I remember receiving basic formation in faith at primary school, and having what I would describe now as a powerful experience of the Spirit at my First Holy Communion. Despite that, my level of maturity in the faith remained at primary school level until I reached my 30’s. I don’t remember much about my Confirmation, but week to week during my earlier years I remember being forced by my Mother to go to weekly Mass. I thought this unfair because my Dad who actually spent a number of years in religious formation never went. Eventually, as a teenager I used my Dad’s non attendance as an excuse to stop going weekly. I also had no prayer life in the conventional sense at least. I remember though, during those years always being in silent awe of the night sky, sunsets and the like. They made me feel joyous, sometimes even ecstatic. I always felt there was a sense of the sacred about them. I don’t recall getting any meaningful formation in the faith at secondary school, it was more about social and personal development as I remember it. I regret that - looking back. I had a difficult time at secondary school, and I feel it would have made a difference to me, to have someone who could have led me deeper into understanding and growing my faith. At 22 I travelled to India and experienced a major culture shock. Directly as a result of my time there I became interested in all sorts of meditation and alternative therapies. I knew I had personal issues that needed to be addressed, I needed healing and I started on a serious spiritual search taking me into all sorts of experiences and absorbing me in all sorts of books and courses.

At this stage in my life, I’ve found a way to prayer that seems to work for me. I get a lot out of both eastern style meditation and praying with Scripture. In the morning I’ll generally meditate for about 20-30 minutes. It’s a mindfulness exercise from the Buddist tradition that helps me to be present in the moment. There’s no emphasis on a God in this meditation, I know that, but it helps to centre and settle me. I love contemplative prayer also, where I do feel and acknowledge a connectedness to God. I’ll generally do another centering exercise in the evening and read Scripture. I like the Psalter Palms in the Old Testament and praying the Liturgy of the Hours. For me, the Psalms come from a place of absolute human nakedness, and somehow praying with them helps me come to that place in myself, and realise my absolute and total dependence on God. Small things stick with me, like that Psalm that refers to bread in the wilderness…the idea of finding nourishment in places you just don’t expect. That implies being open, and trusting.  

I tend not to get hung up on the techniques of prayer. For me there’s selflessness in its essence, a humility, and a sense of strong presence to God. Prayer to me is simple and it is warm. There are no flashing lights. It is a gift of the Spirit, and it’s about being receptive to that. I pray because I need to, in the very same way that I need to eat. It is as simple as that.